Duck Duck Cougar?
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Randomize
