first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
