Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
