i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
