so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
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How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
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How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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