You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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