don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
