This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
