I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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