Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize