The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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