Your tits are I can't wait for
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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