So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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