ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
