Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
