I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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