everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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