That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
