spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
