I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize