Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
