I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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