is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
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