I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize