I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I am one with the molecules
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
