do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Randomize
