I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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