we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
