So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
