You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
