I should be sponsored by Trojan
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
