Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i wish my penis had a tongue
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
