Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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