White coat. Heels.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
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Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
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IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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