well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
