Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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