Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
