margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
