You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize