I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
pray to the hookup gods
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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