yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
