Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
