She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
