don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
