your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
