After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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