We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
