It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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