Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
that's an acceptable place to lick
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
