Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
