giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
