i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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