Can Purell be used as lube?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Randomize
