Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
