I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Randomize
