Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
