did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
