Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Houston, we have a squirter
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
