I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
