I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
