I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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