sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
